The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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