I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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