Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
its not stalking. its research.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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