I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
