Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
