He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
