They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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