Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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