booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so let's talk penis.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
