I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
