Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.

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(627): View more from California

his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...

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(260): View more from Indiana

You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?

(1-260): View more from Indiana

It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...

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