She announced her abortion via fbk
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
