What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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