it was like having sex with a tree stump
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
how drunk are you?
Several
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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