what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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