If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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