Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
