My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
