"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the day after is always just damage control
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
