Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
