She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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