didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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