Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
one might say we're banned from that church
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
