I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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