The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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