Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
