you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
