can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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