I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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