Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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