no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
