Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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