i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
