Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
