The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
