he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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