I can text with my tongue
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Randomize
