...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
