careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
