It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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