he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You are the jesus of drinking
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
