Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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