right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
