She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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