apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Boobs speak an international language.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
