Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
