I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
