he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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