Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
