Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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