once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
