hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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