So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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